Love is...

Love is...

...when you're in a lot of pain and thinking you really should get up and see what your kids are doing and make them a snack, only to find that they have been busy making a snack for you.


(That's chips and salsa - among other random things. She knows what her momma likes)

And love is...

...when above-mentioned pain makes it difficult to move your arm and your husband fixes your hair for you every day.

No pictures will be posted about that because it is also a little bit of what humility is : )

A Very Special Day

On March 27, 2004, we met Caleb:



On March 27, 2008, we met Joshua:



We think that's reason enough to celebrate!

Sons are a heritage from the LORD.
Psalm 127:3

A Great Idea

I was laying down with Grace as she went to sleep - she, obviously deep in thought with her back to me, and me silently praying about opening lines of communication with her, drawing out some of the worries I know she has been silently carrying around.

Suddenly she turned to me with a sparkle in her eye. "Mom, I have a great idea!"

Oh boy.

I prepared myself to attempt a small show of enthusiasm before I totally squashed her next great idea.

Yes, Honey, it would be fun to have another Valentine's party with your friends here tomorrow and I can see you've already spent a lot of time creating hand-made invitations and party favors personalized to each person, but I'm afraid we have other things to do tomorrow.

Well, I'm not sure if popcorn kernels would get hot enough to pop on your light bulb, but it doesn't sound all that safe to have them flying around the room.

Yes, I'm sure you and Caleb could build a fine stable in that corner of the backyard, but our neighborhood does not allow us to keep ponies in our backyard.

No, it doesn't allow chickens either.

Well, yes, fish are allowed, but I'm not sure a pond in the backyard is such a great idea.

"So what is your great idea?" I asked cautiously.

"Well," she began, "I was thinking that we could put a bucket in my room and every night I could write down something that is bothering me and put it in there. After I go to sleep, you could take my worry out and write down a Bible verse about it and put it in there for me to read in the morning. It would be like I'm trading my worries for God's peace!"

"That is a great idea," I responded with true enthusiasm. "I think we will really enjoy doing that."

And we have.

...present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

From the Mouths of Babes...

It was a peaceful afternoon. A soft breeze came through the open windows, carrying with it the faint sounds of a neighbor's guitar. Joshua had been wooed into a deep sleep right after lunch and Grace and Caleb were quietly engrossed in books and puzzles. Occasionally I could hear Caleb singing softly to himself, but other than that, a peaceful stillness was settled over the house.

When the kitchen timer finally signaled that rest time was over, Caleb came in and put his arm around me.

"Did you have a good rest time?" I asked him.

"Yeah." His big sigh was full of importance as he assumed his "tough guy" voice. "During west time I was doing battle with the Enemy of Lies!"

Did I miss something? "Um, Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, 'cause I was singing Joy to the World and when you sing songs to the glewy of God you fight away the Enemy of Lies!"

I smiled at his earnest face. "That's right," I told him.

"Yeah, I know. Can I have a snack now?"

Even though he is often incapable of finding his shoes when it's time to leave the house or remembering the proper position for the toilet seat, I am encouraged to know that he does understand some of life's important truths. And I am reminded of Jesus' words about little children: the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. (Mark 10:14)

Priorities

My house is starting to look really dated. I have been spending a lot of time looking through magazines and collecting paint chips, but a couple of days ago we did something for it that really made it look like a whole new place.

We had it cleaned. By professionals. And I mean it sparkled. I walked through my spotless house, still fresh with the faint smell of household cleaners, and I thought, Man, this is really a nice house. I was a little perplexed wondering just what setting they put the vacuum cleaner on to get enough horsepower to suck all the dirt out of my carpet and make it look so fluffy. It certainly never looks like that after I vacuum.

Just having my house that clean actually made me feel more relaxed than normal. I imagined the peaceful evening we would have sitting in our spotless living room.

And then my kids ran in from the backyard.

"Don't touch anything!" I almost said. "Don't play with anything, don't even breathe!"

And then the doorbell rang.

See, here's where my dilemma really begins. Phil and I have always wanted to have our home be a place where neighbor kids feel welcome and know they will be listened to and cared about. But, the selfish little voice whispered in my head, if I open the door my clean house will quickly disappear and I won't have my relaxing evening.

With a sigh, I opened the door."Wipe your shoes, please," I said.

In the next couple of hours, mud was tracked all over my clean, fluffy carpet, the kitchen floor returned to its usual sticky state, furniture was turned over during a wrestling match, and nerf arrows were littered all over my house along with other toys. It was not exactly the quiet evening I had been imagining.

But another way of looking at the evening is this: Six kids ate and laughed around our table and after dinner, my husband engaged the kids in a fun object lesson for family night. He had their undivided attention as he clearly explained the Bible's message. God loves us and wants relationship with us. Our sin is in the way. Jesus forever removed that barrier on the cross.

In the light of eternity, I suppose there there are more important things than a clean house.

A house isn't a home until you can write "I love you" in the dust on the furniture.
-Unknown

What Home Education Looks Like

Recently, we've had several people express curiosity about homeschooling - why we do it, how we do it, etc, so I decided to offer a little glimpse into what it has looked like for our family this year.

I think people often imagine homeschoolers locked away in a dark room doing workbook pages all day. Sometimes, we do spend time doing workbook pages:


But more often we find learning opportunities present themselves in a more natural way in the world around us:



Earlier this year, we explored how Columbus' ships sailed:


We developed a water filtration system:



We made butter like the colonists and discovered what a chore it really is:


George Washington even stopped by for a cupcake:


"Character Education" is taught by Mommy and Daddy (we're not convinced the government is qualified):


Siblings learn to value each other and work as a team:



Of course, we also have to spend a lot of time practicing conflict resolution:


We learn to follow directions:



And have plenty of time to for Home Economics:



We get to help with outreach projects:




And of course we have recess!


People often remark that it must be easier for me to homeschool because I used to be a certified teacher. I think the truth, though, is that if I ever went back to the classroom, I would be a better teacher because I have been a mother.


It's not that we have anything against sending kids to traditional schools (after all, I'd like to think Phil and I turned out okay), and it's not that we necessarily think there's anything wrong with learning how to read in plastic chairs under fluorescent lights as your peers giggle while you try to sound out words.

We just think this way is nicer:

...and we're thankful for the opportunity to get to do it.

Bedtime Stories

I think there should be something special about bedtime for children. Between the busyness of the day and the restfulness of night, I think God gives parents an intimate window of time to spend with their children. I have sweet memories of my parents talking and praying with me right before I went to sleep, and I find that my own kids are more willing to talk with me at that time, and more inspired by the stories I tell.

But so often, after a long day of homeschooling, housekeeping, nose wiping, diaper-changing, errand running, etc. etc., we get to bedtime and I am DONE. Especially on nights when my husband is gone, I am tempted to open the bedroom door and toss them into their beds with a quick: "Goodnight, I love you...AND DON'T COME OUT UNTIL MORNING!!"

I know I sound like a terrible mother, but truly our bedtime routine seems to last all night. By the time we get through the bath, the teeth brushing, the drinks of water, and the wrestling of jammies onto wiggly kids... then story routine starts. There's the story from a book, the story from when Mommy or Daddy was little, the Bible story.... I begin to think I will never get out of there!

Henry Blackaby says that the God of the universe not only speaks to His children through the Bible and prayer, but also in special ways that are unique to each of us, because His relationship to each of us is special and intimate. Blackaby encourages his readers to look for the the unique ways that God communicates with them.

I was thinking about that the other night as bedtime rolled around. It had been one of those days. And when I say it had been one of those days, I mean It had been one of those days. Phil was gone on this particular night, I wasn't feeling well, and was rather close to dissolving into a pathetic puddle of tears and self-pity. "But you have to tell us the Bible story!" my kids were insisting.

I used to put a lot of effort and drama into the Bible stories I told, making sure to tell them something I had just read about so that my enthusiasm, which they so easily catch, would be fresh. But on this night, like many others recently, I was trying to think of the shortest story I could come up with.

I began telling the story of the small lunch feeding a great crowd, and God in His great love for me, did something that has happened to me on many story-telling occasions. As I got about halfway into it, I listened to the words I was saying and realized they were for me. The story I have read and heard a thousand times spoke to me in a new way and encouraged me right where I was at on that night.

It was not the first time this has happened. Many times, I look at old Bible stories in a new light, or find encouragement or conviction from them as I'm telling them. And it's not usually until I start the story that this happens.

As I think back to Blackaby's words, I realize that God uniquely speaks to me when I am sharing His word with my kids. This is especially encouraging to me, because as a busy mom whose children have secretly negotiated to sleep on completely different schedules, I get very little time to myself. Usually when I am reading my Bible, someone is sitting right next to me scribbling in it (or on the wall). Fortunately, God is not limited by that. He has given me a full-time job, but is able to come and speak to me right when I am in the middle of it.

When you think about it, it's pretty strange that God chooses to speak to me while my mouth is moving, but then, I suppose that is part of the mystery of Philemon 1:6:

"I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith so that you may have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ."

And if my kids get something out of it too, all the better. Meanwhile, I'm working on shortening that bedtime routine!

Teamwork

Daddy For President!

All of the campaign signs around town have raised some questions with my kids. We have had plenty of opportunity to discuss the privilege of voting and the responsibility to pray for our leaders, as well as the upcoming elections.

After getting the names of the Presidential candidates down, my kids decided that it would be best to vote for John McCain because "that other guy has a bomb in his name" and they didn't like the sound of that.

And that provided us an opportunity to talk about informed voting. We discussed the qualities of a good leader, and how important it is that he (or she) is wise, honest, hard-working, and full of integrity.

"Well," concluded Grace in her matter-of-fact way, "it seems like Daddy ought to run for President then."

Caleb quickly agreed. "He would be the best President and then he could make whatever rules we want!"


I think it is awesome that my husband his held in such high regard by his children. Maybe their decision-making skills in this area are a little better than I thought.

We Love Books

Happy Birthday, Joshua!!

Scripture says there is a time and season for everything... a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.

This weekend was a time of celebration for our family. Our baby turned two and it was the first birthday we would spend with him.

It was a time to laugh...


and most definitely a time to dance.


Joshua shared his birthday weekend with my Grandma, his new great-grandma. Her birthday party was a celebration of 80 years of love, self-sacrifice, and hard work, which has blessed our family many times over.


The party could best be described as "glorious chaos."


Josh had to borrow a bib...


It's okay, Buddy. Bigger men than you have had to wear pink.

On Sunday, it was time to celebrate Joshua's birthday.


I confess to being just a little bit melancholy, mourning the fact that we missed his first birthday, and wondering about his birth parents. What are their thoughts on this day? Do they remember him as they left him - tiny and alone? I wish they could see him now, and know how happy he is...



and how much he is loved.

But there was also a lot of joy on this day. To me, it is no small thing what God has done in Joshua's life... in all of our lives. I think back to two years ago, how we had no idea what God had in mind, how He would use an orphan to make our lives richer.

Happy Birthday, Joshua!

All For One and One For All

Grace and Caleb went to stay with family for Joshua's surgery and I thought the recovery period might go easier if we waited a while before going to get them. When they did come back, I realized I had seriously underestimated their capacity for compassion and ability to pull together for their brother.

When they walked in the door, Josh's entire face lit up and he began jumping up and down in joy. He immediately began chasing Caleb around the house, pausing every now and then to admire card after card that Grace had made him while she was away.

Finding our extra arm restraints, they took turns wearing them around the house while playing with Joshua. His willingness to eat also improved dramatically when he watched his heroes eagerly downing the smoothies and yogurt drinks he had been refusing. They even let us feed them baby food out of a syringe to try and persuade their brother to do it.


One bedtime, we were having trouble finding Josh's blankie. Blankies are very serious business around here. Watching her little brother's distress, Grace, the most serious blankie-lover I have ever known, offered to let him sleep with hers. Frankly, I would not have been more impressed had she offered him a kidney.

Fortunately the missing blankie was found and everyone settled in for the night with their own blankies and the reassurance that we're all in this together.

On Heaven

The following conversation was overheard while the kids were eating breakfast on their map-of-the-world place mats.

Caleb: Grace, you said Russia was the biggest country but you were wrong. Heaven is the biggest country.

Grace: Well, Heaven is not a country.

Caleb: But it's the biggest in the whole world.

Grace: (with growing impatience) Yes, but it's not even in the world.

Caleb: Oh yeah! Heaven is way up in the sky behind the clouds.

Grace: Well, it's not just in the sky because you go in an airplane over the clouds but you can't see Heaven.

Caleb: Well, that's because you can't take an airplane to Heaven. Only Jesus can take you to Heaven.

In Case You Were Wondering...

The answer to the cliche question is yes, you can love an adopted child just as much as a biological one! It turns out stretch marks and swollen ankles are not required ingredients for bonding : )

Loves Music, Loves to Dance

It's been almost three months since we were given a quiet, stone-faced little boy who stared at us blankly for days at a time. That little boy is gone and now we have a little wild child dancing around our house every day. Joshua is full of laughter, joy and affection and it feels like he has been part of our family forever. Who but God can do a thing like this?

Why It's Great to be a Mom

1. I get to spend my days with little people who are fun, honest, and pretty cool.

2. I have an excuse to spend my days reading some of the greater literary works, including Winnie the Pooh, Frog and Toad, and The Sneeches on the Beaches.

3. Stimulating Discussion. Whoever said that stay-at-home moms don't use their brains has never spent an entire day answering the earnest questions of a preschooler:

"Mommy, what do we do if our house is on fire inside and there is an army of scorpions outside?" or "Could you ask God if he could take me to heaven instead of Jesus? Jesus has holes in his hands and I'm afraid he will drop me."

4. I get the privilege of raising tomorrow's world-changers. And just recently, Grace and Caleb made a list of rules they would enact if they get to be in charge of the government. They are as follows:

• no smoking
• no killing
• no showing the middle finger
• when you sell a coloring book at a garage sale, none of the pages can be colored
  
• it's okay to chew with your mouth open

5. Someday when my kids are mature and successful I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I was the one who taught them not to pick their noses (if, in fact, I ever get them to stop doing that)

6. Humility. Aside from all the times I've been pooped on or told on - "My mommy wore that shirt yesterday" - I will always remember when Grace was three years old and she had learned Romans 3:23 (For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God).

She had a lot of trouble with this because she just could not accept that any of her grandparents had ever done sins. "What did they do?" she asked, scandalized. I thought this was kind of cute, so I thought I would let her in on another secret.

"You know, Mommy does sins too," I said.

"Oh, yes," she responded matter-of-factly. "You do lots of sins." And then she proceeded to list some of the more notorious ones that she has observed.

7. How it deepens my appreciation for my own mom

8. I never lack for someone to lovingly bring me flowers (even if they are from the yard)

9. It stretches me, frustrates me, exhausts me, and through all of that, invites me to be more like Jesus.

10. Kids, though they often see you at your worst, are not stingy with hugs, kisses, or forgiveness

Gotcha Day!

First of all, let me just say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CALEB!!!! We love you and we miss you and we want you to know that you are a big brother now!

This morning started out kind of like the birth days of our other children. Phil was really excited and wanted to call everyone and I was kind of thinking I might throw up.

We met Rebecca in the lobby of our hotel weighted down with gifts, donations, and a backpack full of paperwork and baby items. The walk to the Civil Affairs Building took us on a beautiful path next to a river with all kinds of beautiful trees blossoming. It seemed to take FOREVER, but it did help me to calm down. Inside the building and up some steps and we walked right into the room where they were all waiting for us. I saw Joshua right away sitting on the table next to one of the nannies. They handed him to Phil right away and he looked a little worried about this. As soon as the nanny backed away, he got really upset - crying, screaming, arching his back, kicking – just really, really mad. We took that to be a good sign of an emotionally healthy toddler.

I thought the nannies did a good job of occasionally trying to help him calm down and then backing away to let us be the parents. They really seemed to be affectionate with him and kept taking pictures of us. The orphanage director kept insisting on telling us that he is really smart. “He is the smartest baby,” she would say.

It was also obvious that he had a cold and even though the other babies were content as could be with their new parents, Joshua absolutely would not calm down, until he finally exhausted himself and fell asleep in Phil's arms.

We were glad to see the photo album we sent, as well as the disposable cameras and at least one thing from each care package we sent, confirming that he got both of them.

They also gave us pictures of when he was in the hospital for his lip repair surgery. We had really been worried about that because we knew that he was in there for a whole month, but we were relieved to see not only his favorite nanny at the hospital with him, but also his two playmates who were also adopted in our group today. Apparently, they all had their surgeries at the same time and seemed to be sharing a crib in all the pictures they had.

We sat for a while with Joshua sleeping in our arms, while Rebecca and the other officials were busy with our paperwork. It was nice that for once, someone else was worrying about all the paperwork and not us. At one point, some random man walks in the room who really didn't look like he belonged there and they all got into a very heated discussion. Rebecca didn't seem too concerned, so we weren't either, but it was quite entertaining. Later, at different points during the day, one of us would ask her what that was all about, but she would always just sort of giggle and change the subject.

We asked the orphanage director a few questions about Joshua and she insisted on telling us again how smart he is. “Very quiet,” she said, “but always thinking.” Then she smiled at me and said, “He looks like his mama.”

With his big beautiful eyes and long eyelashes, I'll take that as a compliment.

Rebecca seemed very friendly with the orphanage director and later Phil asked her if she knew the orphanage director well. “Oh, yes,” she replied. “And she is a Christian so she is my sister.”

We signed some guardianship papers because China gives a 24 hour trial period to make sure we want to adopt him and then we go back tomorrow to make it really official. Then we have to wait here five business days for his passport before we can go to Guangzhou to complete paperwork for the U.S.

There aren't many foreigners in Hangzhou, so a group of foreigners carrying Chinese babies invites a lot of open staring. Joshua woke up on the way home and we thought he might get hysterical again to see just us and no nannies, but he just took everything in quietly. And that has pretty much been his disposition for the entire rest of the day.

When the director told us that he had a quiet personality, that may have been an understatement. In fact, if hadn't been screaming so much this morning, I would question whether or not his vocal chords work. He is also feeling sick and even running a little fever so I'm sure that's part of it. No smiles yet, but he doesn't seem to have any trouble making eye contact with us or even snuggling a little.

He watches us with big, solemn eyes, and we suspect he is holding his cards close to his chest. We offered him Cheerios and a sippy cup but he won't take anything himself, just waits for us to put them in his mouth. We thought maybe he couldn't feed himself until someone held up a little fried shrimp fry to show me something that babies here like and he reached right over and grabbed it and ate it. We know he can walk because he did it this morning when he was so upset, but alone with us he hasn't shown any inclination to do it since.

He has had a lot to take in today, including two brand new people in his face and a trip to the grocery store (it sounds so routine to go to the grocery store on such a special day, but we needed a lot of essentials). It occurred to us while we were there that he had probably never been to the grocery store before and it was probably very overwhelming.

It is currently 6:30 pm and he has crashed hard, probably for the night. As I was giving him a bottle, I sensed what a gift this child is to us. The Psalmist says that “all of the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” I can see that the hand of God has been on Joshua's life since the day of his birth and it is a privilege that God has written us into his story.