A Very Special Day

On March 27, 2004, we met Caleb:



On March 27, 2008, we met Joshua:



We think that's reason enough to celebrate!

Sons are a heritage from the LORD.
Psalm 127:3

Yeah, But...

In my last post, I wrote about living with a sense of expectancy before God. I was remembering this time one year ago when I was on a plane headed to get my son from China. I had only a vague understanding of the way God was about to bless our family. And Joshua in the orphanage, could not have even imagined that he was about to be embraced by his Mommy and Daddy.

But let's be honest here, also.

Thinking back to one year ago, if Joshua could have seen just a glimpse of the week ahead of him - how his world would be turned upside down, how he would be handed off to strange-looking people who didn't even know how to talk right, he probably would have responded in fear and protested, "You call that a good plan? NO THANK YOU!!"

And honestly, if I on the plane could have seen ahead into some of the difficulties of the coming months - including spending a few weeks with a toddler in arm restraints - my response might have been just as fearful. (Adopting a toddler is a wonderful adventure, but let it never be said that I said it was easy!) I might have been tempted to yell, "Turn this plane around and take me back to the safe life!"

Can a person really trust God? I mean for heaven's sakes, you could wind up living in a mud hut in the jungle or something.

Sometimes I feel like I can relate to the Israelites of the Old Testament who followed God to the Promised Land and then balked at it. This is NOT what we had in mind, God! It looks way scary and not at all safe!

And they missed out.

Adoption is a beautiful thing that happens to a family, but if you think it's all hugs and kisses all the time then you probably also believe those women who say that childbirth doesn't hurt a bit. The truth is that whatever method you use to bring children into your life it's hard, messy, painful, costly...

And so worth it.

When Phil and I first felt that God was inviting us to bring another child into our home, we could have decided that it was just too risky (and I could have kept right on thinking up excuses of why I wasn't cut out to be the mom of a special needs child), and the truth is, life probably would have been a little easier this past year.

But we're forever richer because we said yes.



No, Lucy, Aslan is not safe. But He is good.

March 23, 2008

One year ago today, I was stuffed into a crowded corner of an airplane headed across the Pacific Ocean. I was trying without success to get some sleep, my mind racing with thoughts and questions of how drastically life was about to change.

One year ago today, my youngest son was involved in the predictable daily routine of orphanage life. He had absolutely no idea that his Mommy and Daddy were on their way, and that life was about to be changed forever.

Immersed in the ordinary, he had no sense of expectancy.

But of course God, who saw clearly into the next year of Joshua being embraced by a loving family and gaining a new sense of belonging, was whispering over him: I am about to turn a page in your life. You can't even imagine the great things I have just ahead for you!

Recently, I was challenged to live with more of a sense of expectancy before God, and that has given me a lot to think about.

Am I so weighed down with the ordinary, so focused on myself and the little things I want, that I am not able to see the great things God is doing all around me and wants to do in me?

I thought about this on a recent night while I was laying down with Joshua at bedtime. I thought back over the journey God has taken him on so far and, amazing though it is, I suspect it's only just begun.

This same God, who had great things ahead for him while he was still in the orphanage, is certainly not finished with him now.

Or with any of us for that matter.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.
-1 Corinthians 2:9

China Pictures

I think Phil wishes there were more pictures of trees and flowers...

For Future Adoptive Parents

Okay, maybe nobody cares to read this, but when I was waiting to go to China I read all the blogs looking for advice on travel, packing, etc., so here's my two cents...

Helpful Chinese Phrases to Know

I'm not even going to attempt to put the Chinese pronunciations on here. You would be better off asking your guide.

Thank you - because someone is always doing something for you
Excuse me/I'm sorry
May I have a fork?
No ice - because the ice isn't clean there and that one is really hard to pantomime
I need some space! - Just kidding, but you will be thinking it

Things I'm glad I Packed or Wished I'd Packed

Stacking cups - hundreds of adoptive parents that went before us were not wrong - it is really the only toy that you need

Blow-up ball or balloons - also a nice to have and takes up no room

Travel alarm - most of the hotels we stayed in had no clocks

cleft bottles - regular bottles probably would have been fine and the other babies were using them, but when we tried one we had to cut the nipple for him and it made a huge mess. He has also had a lot of trouble with sippy cups, even the Nuby

formula mixer

dish soap and woolite

more bibs - the amount of drool coming from all the babies was unbelievable

Cheerios, puffs, teddy grahams, or other snack foods - not that you can't find little crackers and stuff over there, but it seems like they are all made out of fish or shrimp and then you are trying to bond with someone blowing fish-breath in your face

all kinds of medicine - we donated most of what we had brought for Joshua, but all of what we brought for adults was used by us or someone in our group

packing cubes from ebags.com - so helpful for staying organized when you have three people living out of two suitcases for three weeks

laptop - we debated about this because it wasn't ours, keys were missing, and it was extra big and a pain to carry around all the time (especially after it broke), but it was so worth it to do see our kids over skype everyday and it was definitely the cheapest way to call home

Baby carrier - we used Ergo and loved it - once we figured it out. Seriously I don't know who designs these things but it is most certainly not the same person who writes the instruction manual. Once you get to Guangzhou you can use a stroller for free

Other Thoughts

I didn't understand why my husband insisted that we not delete the pictures from our camera after we downloaded them every night. After the computer crashed, I understood.

Expect the first week or so home to be really, really hard. The first week at home with a new child is always hard, but when you add jet lag and a toddler who is jet-lagged on a different schedule than you (and for us, kids who have missed you for three weeks), you start thinking, I may never sleep or shower again!

Don't feel too guilty if you find yourself thinking, What have I gotten myself into? Have I made a mistake? I personally had those thoughts during the first week with all of my children, biological and adopted. It gets better.

In Guangzhou - I can't remember the name of it, but there was a really good Chinese place to eat that was kind of across the street from Lucy's and upstairs. It was one of the few places on the island that was actually full of Chinese people eating there.

Also somewhere not too far from the medical exam place was a fun place to eat (The Station?). Yummy Italian if you're tired of Chinese and you get to sit in a rail car. Kind of a romantic setting until you see the noodles coming out your baby's nose.

Life According to Toddlers

• Sleep is for the weak
  
• Don't settle for a crib - insist on Mom and Dad's bed
• When you make it into Mom and Dad's bed, make sure you sleep sideways and kick your feet all night
• Oatmeal in the hair makes a great styling aid
• Speaking of style, Mom could use a little help these days. Maybe some boogers on her clothes would add some interest.
• Why eat your food when you can throw it? If you're still hungry you can pick it up off the floor later and eat it. Mom won't get around to sweeping today.
• You can help Mom out by scattering toys all over the floor - it makes the crumbs less obvious
• Nobody can be mad at you if you're adorable

4.11.08

I know I've said this, but it bears repeating - we are so glad to be home!

Joshua has been a little overwhelmed by the drastic change of scenery his world has taken on, but all things considered he is really adjusting pretty well. And he is very enchanted with his new brother and sister (and all their toys). Between our lame attempts at unpacking and going through the mail and having a new toddler around, our house looks like a serious disaster zone.

As the five of us sat around our table tonight, we were reminded of how for the past four months or so we prayed every night around the same table for Joshua, and now God in His goodness has brought him here.



We also want to say thank you to all of you who have supported and encouraged us. We are truly overwhelmed. Pictures of our trip coming soon.

On Minivans and Coolness

Sad but true, there comes a point in every parent's life when you start looking wistfully at minivans. Those of you who are childless are scoffing at me, but it will happen to you too and I will be there to say I told you so.

As we were busy getting ready to bring Joshua home, Phil and I blissfully pretended that we didn't need a minivan. But now reality has hit: three car seats will not fit in the back of our vehicle.

On the way home from the airport, Caleb commented: "Well," (and you need to know that my son has the absolute cutest way of saying "well" - kind of a dry southern drawl. Sometimes we call him Forrest Gump.) "Well," he said, "It looks like we hap to go to the van store."

With talk of minivans, Grace's entire face lit up. "Are we really getting a van? Oh, I am so excited!" she gushed. "Wait 'till I tell all my friends - they will think I am so cool!!"

My thoughts exactly.

There's No Place Like Home

Our flight home was everything you might imagine a long flight with a toddler on your lap could be. And then some.

Phil had a cold, I was shivering with a fever, and Joshua was screaming. He had multiple episodes of vomiting and diarrhea and I think everyone on that plane wanted to open the emergency doors and throw us out!

But enough complaining. The good news is that we had safe travel, Joshua became a U.S. citizen in San Francisco, and now we are home with Grace, Caleb, and Joshua, the best kids in the world.

Red Couch Photos

We are staying at the White Swan, the traditional hotel for adoptive families and we have enjoyed meeting many other families. The halls are full of adorable Chinese children and their new parents.

Many of them are baby girls, and quite a few are older children with a variety of disabilities. Once all of these children were considered burdens and now they are welcomed by families who have longed for them for years.

We drive through the city here and there are Chinese babies in split pants who will grow up in this wonderful country with all of its traditions. Back at the hotel, there are Chinese babies in Gap outfits who are on their way to growing up with American families and they will hardly be able to imagine that it could have been any other way. What a crazy world.

It is tradition here at the White Swan to take photos on the red couch of the hotel. Joshua sat on the famous couch yesterday with three of his playmates from Wenzhou Children's Welfare Institute.
All four of them ended up in the orphanage as infants because of cleft palates. One of them will grow up in Colorado with two Chinese sisters, one will grow up watching sports with his daddy in Pennsylvania, one will be home-educated with his siblings, and one will enjoy a view of the Manhattan skyline from his crib.

We pray that each of them will realize and live out of God's amazing plans for their lives.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All of the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. - Ps 139

Life in China

While our time in China lasts a little longer than we would have liked, we are grateful for some extra time to get to know our son without all the distractions of home. He is a happy, busy toddler who teaches us new things about himself every day.

Also, some of our observations about life in China...

Driving

While we practice defensive driving in the U.S., the rule here is offensive driving. And check your horn every three seconds to make sure it's still working.

The Clear Blue Sky

It must be up there somewhere. If you ever see pictures of China with a beautiful blue sky, you can be sure it is computer-engineered. The other night, as we were coming out of dinner, the fog (or so we thought) was so thick we could hardly see across the street. Our guide informed us that it was not fog but pollution.

KFC

KFC is quite popular here and you can find one almost anywhere. The other night I had a chicken sandwich and there were peas, carrots, and corn baked right into the chicken patty. I had heard KFC was trying to get a healthier image but that was a little much.

Lines

When you go into a KFC and there are 20-30 people waiting to order as usual, they won't be in lines. They don't form lines here. They form a nice, polite mob and then slowly push their way foward (but very nicely - everyone is super polite here).

If problems arise with this method, a polite "discussion" ensues. Once, it looked like our guide stole a taxi cab from someone else, but she said, "It's okay, I discussed it with her."

Another time a man behind Phil decided that Phil was taking too long, so he mumbled something at him and put his stuff in front of Phil's. When the cashier suggested that that was rude, the man responded, "Oh, I discussed it with him."

And once, when we were looking for a table in a crowded restaurant, our guide went up to a man sitting by himself at a table. She said a few Chinese words to him and then quickly motioned us over. "Come sit here - he's almost finished." We all hung back, reluctant to sit down at this man's table while he was still eating.

"Oh, it's okay," she insisted. "I already discussed it with him." So there we sat, five Americans awkwardly staring at this man as he hastily slurped up his noodles.

School

Education is very important here. Kids of all ages attend school from 7am to 5pm and even the primary students will bring an hour of homework home. A 12-year-old could expect to have three hours of homework in the evening.

I haven't told anyone how long we spend homeschooling each day. I'm afraid they may decide I'm an unfit mother.

Attitudes About Adoption

For whatever I've said about all the people staring at us, they are always very positive about what we are doing. The ones that can speak English usually thank us and have nice things to say to us. One man said, "I really appreciate what you are doing and I hope Americans know there are many boys who need their help."

Still In Guangzhou

Now I understand why all of the adoption blogs seem to have so few posts from Guangzhou. There isn't a whole lot to do here except wait for your paperwork, visit the tourist shops, and take your baby to the hotel clinic to be treated for what is referred to around here as "orphanage cough."

They mixed up a couple of medicines and herbal remedies for us and I think I offended them because I kept asking what they were putting in there. I just wanted to know what I was medicating my child with.

He has also been having trouble with diarrhea (too much information, I know). The doctor kept insisiting, "No bananas!" We were curious about this because it is the opposite of what we've always heard. "I know you eat bananas in the U.S. to help with diarrhea but in China it makes it worse." She could see I was skeptical so she continued: "When you get home you can give him bananas, but not now because he is still in China!"

I'm thinking, how does the banana know?

We also visited a nasty zoo yesterday. I don't mean to be so negative, but the animals were skinny and sickly, many of them chained up. We even watched a lion hacking something up. What really did it for me, though, was the enormous rats scurrying around. Note to future adoptive parents: skip the zoo!

The city of Guangzhou is a little bit depressing to me. Other families actually talk about it being cleaner than the provinces they adopted from and it's definitely not the worst poverty I've ever seen. Still, it bothers me because I keep thinking about my baby being left in a box on streets like these.

The island where we are staying is actually pretty nice. It is a quaint mixture of Europe and China and all weekend we have seen wedding pictures being taken in its picturesque parks.

All of the shop owners were very eager to invite us to church. We attended the English service and found it to be a warm and vibrant church which was packed to standing room only with people listening outside the door.

We have met many other adoptive families here from all over the U.S. and Europe. I find it very funny that even on the other side of the world people are asking Phil if he is a Mormon. He just has that wholesome look, I guess. I'm going to get him a T-shirt that says: "I'm not a Mormon - I'm just a nice guy."

My Heart Belongs to Daddy

Brief update from Angie's sister

Just wanted to let all of you know that Phil, Angie and Joshua are doing well. They wanted me to let you know their computer crashed so they haven't been able to post as much as they would like. And also, Phil is feeling much better and is very grateful for everyone's prayers.

Thanks to each of you for your love and support.

Guangzhou

We left Hangzhou yesterday and arrived in Guangzhou, where we will be working with the American Consulate to get Joshua's visa so we can bring him home.

It was kind of bittersweet watching Joshua look out the plane window as we left Hangzhou. He had no idea he was leaving the place of his birth and the home of his birth family.

What he did realize very quickly is that he does NOT like plane rides! Everyone else on the plane was also made aware of this. Yes, it's going to be a very long flight back across the Pacific.

Guangzhou is very different than Hangzhou and I think it may be more representative of cities in China. Hangzhou was a beautiful city and there was obvious wealth everywhere. In fact, it was voted the number one leisure city in China. Guangzhou is another story. Smoggy and densly packed, there are 14 million people that live in this city. It looks like many of them live in these really tall, colorless apartment buildings.

The place we are staying is called Shamian Island. It's not really an island, but a formerly British section of the city surrounded on most sides by a river. We plan to explore it more today.

We skipped our group excursion today - it was a trip to a Buddhist temple to have our babies blessed by the monks. We know where our blessings come from.

Back in Hangzhou, Joshua was given a special gift from his orphanage before we left. Some of the older kids there made him a Chinese embroidery, which said, "Happiness forever." It will be a special reminder to us of the people who cared for him his first year, and of the kids he left behind.

Only one week until we come home - we are counting the days!

A Day With Mommy

Unfortunately, Phil is really sick. We have unofficially diagnosed him with strep and he's loading up on antibiotics. He is really miserable.

As a result, Joshua and I spent the day together, giving him a little more time to bond with Mommy.

In the morning we picked up a latte from Starbucks and took a walk through the park. Is there a better way to start the day?



Later we went shopping in an open air marketplace for souveneirs. I don't think it bothered Phil too much to miss out on that. Knick-knack shopping is not exactly on the top of his list.

I do think he should be proud of his wife that she spent a day shopping, went out to lunch, and only spent $1.50 all together. Hovering over the trash can in misery right now, he doesn't look too impressed. Pray for him if you think of it.

West Lake

The land of his birth, we will tell our son, is beautiful.

Today we explored West Lake by boat and on foot, walking through gardens on one of the man-made islands.

West Lake is huge, bordered on some sides by the city and on others by misty forests. It is graced everywhere with weeping willows and blossoming trees in the full bloom of spring. You can also see many ornate pagodas and peacocks, even albino ones.





It seems to be perpetually covered in fog, but maybe this is appropriate. Apparently in Chinese landscape art, they often paint fog or mist because they believe that some of the beauty should remain a mystery.

After West Lake, we visited a tea village in the mountains. Here they make Dragon Well Tea, an organic green tea that is considered the best tea in all of China and one of the best in the world. The entire process, harvesting, drying, and packaging, is all done by hand.

There are different grades of the tea, depending on what time of year it is harvested. This is peak time right now and the tea being harvested today is called Emperor's Tea because the quality (and the price) is the highest all year.

After showing us some of the different grades of tea for comparison, our guide began telling us the different prices and took one of the baskets out. "We won't sell that because the quality is so low, " she said wrinkling her nose. "We will just bag it up and export it." In other words, the stuff you buy in America is our reject tea.

She also extolled the virtues of this tea for many other things, including helping you get rid of dry eyes. Since we've been in China everything they have tried to sell us - from tea to silk, to jade bracelets -everything supposedly has a health benefit in addition to its ascetic value. It will cure insomnia, get the toxins out of your body, make your skin beautiful... If we bought everything they are trying to sell us, maybe we would live forever.

We had a nice lunch at a restaurant looking out on the lake. Phil and Joshua provided some entertainment with the chopsticks while we waited.

Talent like that and about 30 yuan will get you fried snake head slices and pigeon blood soup. We decided to skip those and opted instead for the local specialty of beggars chicken and root of lotus flower, which were both very good.

Joshua is warming up to me very slowly, and I think he was happy to discover that I was willing to play every baby's favorite game: drop a toy, mom picks it up, drop it again, and repeat 200 times.

Tonight he had a great time running all over the hallway laughing, and he has been babbling a lot more for us. When he gets upset he does this little thing with his hands, pulling on his fingers. I think it must be a self-soothing trick he taught himself in the orphanage.

He can also throw terrific fits, falling on the ground kicking his feet. We got our disposable camera from the orphanage developed today and it was basically 20 pictures of him with the same somber look that he had the other day. I will take temper tantrums over a constant blank stare any day.

3.30.08

It was a cold, gray day in Hangzhou today. Fortunately, our hotel has heat. Unfortunately, it only blows cold air. So now we who, just a few days ago were laughing at the Chinese habit of dressing in many layers, are layering up ourselves.

The hotel rooms are starting to close in on us just a little bit and the babies seem to be feeling it the most. They seem to prefer playing out in the hallway and start fussing anytime we bring them into our rooms. Tonight we were all sitting in the hallway blowing bubbles and an American man and his Chinese daughter came up and introduced themselves. He was in this same hotel 14 years ago adopting her.

Tai Chi was apparently canceled this morning because of the rain, but we did make it to church. We weren't sure what to expect from what is likely a state-controlled church, but were still very interested in going. Rebecca told me on the way in that missionaries frequently come to teach them, many of them from America.

Also on the way in, we went past a row of books for sale, all with Chinese titles. Someone pointed out one which had a picture of President Bush on it. Rebecca giggled and said, "Oh yes, like a rockstar." Not exactly the word I would use to describe him but okay.

There were many people there of all ages, and most were taking notes diligently. Rebecca found us a bilingual hymnal and Bible so that we could be participators and not just spectators. We read Psalm 71 aloud, they in Chinese and we in English: "I will praise You more and more. My mouth will tell of Your righteousness, of Your salvation all day long, though it cannot be measured."

Later, Rebecca told us, "You know the director of the orphanage is a Christian and she told me she used to take one of these boys to church with her, but I can't remember which one." Judging from the way Joshua behaved, I doubt it was him. I can't blame him, though. It was a very long sermon, especially when you don't understand a word of it. The hymnal did make interesting reading material, though. It contained many familiar hymns and many written by Asian authors. I thought the words of one were appropriate: "In Christ, there is no East or West, in Him no North or South."

I do have to say that singing "He Lives" surrounded by hundreds of people singing it in another language is a pretty cool experience that everyone who looks forward to heaven should get to have.

I think that driving the streets around here is probably enough to make most anyone religious. There are pretty tree-lined medians in the road, but they don't really mean anything because taxis zoom around both sides of them. Today we missed a crash by inches - even our taxi driver was shaken. The fact that nobody uses carseats or seatbelts is also a little hard to get used to. We asked Rebecca if there are many accidents. "Oh yes," she responded with her little giggle.

Joshua is feeling much better and is ever the daddy's boy, although he is okay with me feeding him. He loves to be tossed around by his daddy and is so flexible we think he may have been a Chinese acrobat had he stayed here.

3.29.08

First, we want to say thank you for all of your prayers! We know that there are many people praying for us and we are so blessed by that.

The little boy we have today is completely different from the one we had yesterday. He is full of life and affection, exploring and playing, no longer patient about waiting for his bottle, and never wanting to be more than a few seconds from Daddy's secure arms.

I knew it was a new day when I came out of the shower this morning and heard him laughing and diving into his Daddy's chest. He is still a little wary of me but he absolutely loves Phil. He has gotten a litle braver about walking around, but about every three or four seconds he throws his arms up and runs towards Phil. Even if he is already being held by his daddy, there are times when he is looking at something else and then turns back and throws his arms around Daddy's neck.

He came to us a few days ago so shut down and fiercely guarding his heart, but I think having this big, wonderful man come into your life who has so much love and security to offer is too much to resist.


He is an absolute monkey climbing all over the place and scattering toys everywhere and now we have the happy problem of worrying how he's going to behave on our long flights home.

He has been eating everything we feed him with enthusiasm, but his diapers bear witness to the fact that his tummy is in a little bit of turmoil. The hard thing about living out of a hotel room is that you can't get away from the smell of a bad diaper, even after it has been tripled bagged.

In the orphanage he was fed congee, so we have been giving him some of that since he is used to it. Congee is basically watery mush, or to be more exact, lean pork porridge with preserved duck egg. I know your mouth is watering now.


It's Official


I forgot to mention it yesterday, but the adoption became official yesterday morning in a very brief ceremony with the registration official.

Also yesterday, Grace and Caleb got to meet their new brother over skype. The difference in our children yesterday was striking. Joshua sat stone-faced staring at the computer without moving while we watched Grace dance all over the screen and Caleb literally climbing the furniture in the background. We miss them tons and know that Joshua will love growing up with them.



Now I Know How Madonna Feels

We took a walk today along the beautiful West Lake and again provided entertainment for all the locals. People would come up to Phil and shake his hand or try to start a conversation with us in Chinese. The man in the picture below spoke English and had a lot of questions for us. I don't know if he was more astounded by the fact that we had a Chinese baby or by the fact that we had three children.


As he talked to us, more people felt comfortable stopping and staring at us and we drew quite a crowd.

One young woman came up and asked me if she could have her picture taken with me. Phil says that if we start to run out of money, we can charge 10 yuan to have pictures taken with us.

When we were going through our homestudy, we had to take several classes about being a conspicuous family, answering questions, dealing with being in the spotlight, etc. I think being in China is good practice for that. I doubt we will ever get this much attention or curiosity in the US.

"Will they remember that they are Chinese?" the man asked us. We assured him that they would.

We also visited a silk museum today, where we learned all about how they get silk from the silkworm cocoon. It was very fascinating and I would love to tell you all about it but it is getting late and I am very tired, so if you're just dying to know about it you can Google it.

We were invited to Tai Chi tomorrow by the old man in the park and to church by Rebecca and we are looking foward to both. Here is one more picture of the peach trees in blossom at West Lake.

3.28.08

Joshua is very slowly coming out of his shell a tiny bit at a time. We can't view our blog, but if that picture of him in the red hat is still on the side, that is the exact expression he has had for two straight days without any change until just about an hour ago.

He stared at some of the toys we brought for him, but didn't seem to know how to play with them. There was no visible response to anything we would say except to just stare at us solemnly and he has hardly made a peep, even as he patiently watched us try to figure his bottle out for well over five minutes.

He appears to get overstimulated very easily and falls asleep. I have no problem understanding that. The streets of Hangzhou are every bit as crowded as you might imagine that China would be, the sidewalks are full of people, most of them gawking and even pointing at us (one man almost fell off his bike while staring at us). The cars will occasionally drive up on some of the sidewalks without warning (this apparently is allowed) and all the bikes are even scarier. It seems like there are near-crashes all the time but nobody is very concerned.

Our group also made a trip to China's version of Walmart. Picture Walmart in the US with 20 times as many people and shrill music playing and every time you pick out something reasonably expensive, you have to go up front and pay for it before you can keep shopping. If that gives you a headache, then you know how we felt.

As the day wore on, though, Joshua, began to develop an obvious attachment to Phil. Whenever he sees him, he will hold out his arms to him and cry if Phil leaves the room. He doesn't mind if I hold him occasionally, but for the most part, he is a daddy's boy. This is a picture of him waiting by the bathroom door for Daddy to come out.


Phil is truly Mr. Popularity over here. There is an old woman who always seems to appear outside our hotel trying to sell miscellaneous junk. Every time she sees Phil, her whole face brightens up and she runs over starts shoving pinwheels or something similar in his face.

Another time when we were in the park, a family with what I believe to be the world's fattest baby ever spotted Phil and kept waving and pointing to him so the baby could see him. Then they came over, handed Phil their baby and began taking pictures of him with their child.

We tried to feed Joshua some Asian-style noodles but he wasn't interested. Pizza, however was another story. I think he is going to do just fine eating at our house.

Later this evening, he figured out how to play with stacking cups and especially enjoyed playing with them in the tub. We were cheering for him and he rewarded us with a small smile.

He had a hard time settling down tonight even after his bottle. He would look at both of us and look over both his shoulders and back at each of us for probably 20 minutes. Finally Phil held out his arms and Joshua snuggled into his chest and went to sleep.

Gotcha Day!

First of all, let me just say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CALEB!!!! We love you and we miss you and we want you to know that you are a big brother now!

This morning started out kind of like the birth days of our other children. Phil was really excited and wanted to call everyone and I was kind of thinking I might throw up.

We met Rebecca in the lobby of our hotel weighted down with gifts, donations, and a backpack full of paperwork and baby items. The walk to the Civil Affairs Building took us on a beautiful path next to a river with all kinds of beautiful trees blossoming. It seemed to take FOREVER, but it did help me to calm down. Inside the building and up some steps and we walked right into the room where they were all waiting for us. I saw Joshua right away sitting on the table next to one of the nannies. They handed him to Phil right away and he looked a little worried about this. As soon as the nanny backed away, he got really upset - crying, screaming, arching his back, kicking – just really, really mad. We took that to be a good sign of an emotionally healthy toddler.

I thought the nannies did a good job of occasionally trying to help him calm down and then backing away to let us be the parents. They really seemed to be affectionate with him and kept taking pictures of us. The orphanage director kept insisting on telling us that he is really smart. “He is the smartest baby,” she would say.

It was also obvious that he had a cold and even though the other babies were content as could be with their new parents, Joshua absolutely would not calm down, until he finally exhausted himself and fell asleep in Phil's arms.

We were glad to see the photo album we sent, as well as the disposable cameras and at least one thing from each care package we sent, confirming that he got both of them.

They also gave us pictures of when he was in the hospital for his lip repair surgery. We had really been worried about that because we knew that he was in there for a whole month, but we were relieved to see not only his favorite nanny at the hospital with him, but also his two playmates who were also adopted in our group today. Apparently, they all had their surgeries at the same time and seemed to be sharing a crib in all the pictures they had.

We sat for a while with Joshua sleeping in our arms, while Rebecca and the other officials were busy with our paperwork. It was nice that for once, someone else was worrying about all the paperwork and not us. At one point, some random man walks in the room who really didn't look like he belonged there and they all got into a very heated discussion. Rebecca didn't seem too concerned, so we weren't either, but it was quite entertaining. Later, at different points during the day, one of us would ask her what that was all about, but she would always just sort of giggle and change the subject.

We asked the orphanage director a few questions about Joshua and she insisted on telling us again how smart he is. “Very quiet,” she said, “but always thinking.” Then she smiled at me and said, “He looks like his mama.”

With his big beautiful eyes and long eyelashes, I'll take that as a compliment.

Rebecca seemed very friendly with the orphanage director and later Phil asked her if she knew the orphanage director well. “Oh, yes,” she replied. “And she is a Christian so she is my sister.”

We signed some guardianship papers because China gives a 24 hour trial period to make sure we want to adopt him and then we go back tomorrow to make it really official. Then we have to wait here five business days for his passport before we can go to Guangzhou to complete paperwork for the U.S.

There aren't many foreigners in Hangzhou, so a group of foreigners carrying Chinese babies invites a lot of open staring. Joshua woke up on the way home and we thought he might get hysterical again to see just us and no nannies, but he just took everything in quietly. And that has pretty much been his disposition for the entire rest of the day.

When the director told us that he had a quiet personality, that may have been an understatement. In fact, if hadn't been screaming so much this morning, I would question whether or not his vocal chords work. He is also feeling sick and even running a little fever so I'm sure that's part of it. No smiles yet, but he doesn't seem to have any trouble making eye contact with us or even snuggling a little.

He watches us with big, solemn eyes, and we suspect he is holding his cards close to his chest. We offered him Cheerios and a sippy cup but he won't take anything himself, just waits for us to put them in his mouth. We thought maybe he couldn't feed himself until someone held up a little fried shrimp fry to show me something that babies here like and he reached right over and grabbed it and ate it. We know he can walk because he did it this morning when he was so upset, but alone with us he hasn't shown any inclination to do it since.

He has had a lot to take in today, including two brand new people in his face and a trip to the grocery store (it sounds so routine to go to the grocery store on such a special day, but we needed a lot of essentials). It occurred to us while we were there that he had probably never been to the grocery store before and it was probably very overwhelming.

It is currently 6:30 pm and he has crashed hard, probably for the night. As I was giving him a bottle, I sensed what a gift this child is to us. The Psalmist says that “all of the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” I can see that the hand of God has been on Joshua's life since the day of his birth and it is a privilege that God has written us into his story.