Monday, March 23, 2009

Yeah, But...

In my last post, I wrote about living with a sense of expectancy before God. I was remembering this time one year ago when I was on a plane headed to get my son from China. I had only a vague understanding of the way God was about to bless our family. And Joshua in the orphanage, could not have even imagined that he was about to be embraced by his Mommy and Daddy.

But let's be honest here, also.

Thinking back to one year ago, if Joshua could have seen just a glimpse of the week ahead of him - how his world would be turned upside down, how he would be handed off to strange-looking people who didn't even know how to talk right, he probably would have responded in fear and protested, "You call that a good plan? NO THANK YOU!!"

And honestly, if I on the plane could have seen ahead into some of the difficulties of the coming months - including spending a few weeks with a toddler in arm restraints - my response might have been just as fearful. (Adopting a toddler is a wonderful adventure, but let it never be said that I said it was easy!) I might have been tempted to yell, "Turn this plane around and take me back to the safe life!"

Can a person really trust God?
I mean for heaven's sakes, you could wind up living in a mud hut in the jungle or something.

Sometimes I feel like I can relate to the Israelites of the Old Testament who followed God to the Promised Land and then balked at it. This is NOT what we had in mind, God! It looks way scary and not at all safe!

And they missed out.

Adoption is a beautiful thing that happens to a family, but if you think it's all hugs and kisses all the time then you probably also believe those women who say that childbirth doesn't hurt a bit. The truth is that whatever method you use to bring children into your life it's hard, messy, painful, costly...

And so worth it.

When Phil and I first felt that God was inviting us to bring another child into our home, we could have decided that it was just too risky (and I could have kept right on thinking up excuses of why I wasn't cut out to be the mom of a special needs child), and the truth is, life probably would have been a little easier this past year.

But we're forever richer because we said yes.

No, Lucy, Aslan is not safe. But He is good.


Rebecca said...

Thank you for your story! Reading your words makes me miss you sooo much! There is something to be said for close, no, excellent, college friends. : ) What a joy to see how God is leading and using you and Phil. : )

debby94 said...

What a handsome little boy. You're right. If we could see into the future, how many times would we run the other way & miss so many blessings? Thanks for always inspiring!