Hi, My Name is Angie and I Can't Make Decisions

I seriously think there should be some kind of support group for people like me. People incapable of making even the simplest decisions. I'd give you some examples, but then you'd probably just have to confirm what I already suspect. That I have a mental disease.

I think it is because I am equal parts perfectionist and lazy procrastinator (okay maybe not equal - maybe mostly the lazy procrastinator part).

So my current indecisive turmoil is over what color to paint my kitchen and living room (and I KNOW what your thinking - "It's only paint!" and I'm telling you, it's paint AND hours and hours of my time hanging off a ginormous ladder with a bum shoulder while figuring out what to do with my kids.)

When we moved into our house, there were these cutesy stencils I didn't care for and I began to think about what color I should paint over them.



That was seven years ago.

Which just shows you how deep procrastination runs in me. But now it's time. Really. I have been to Home Depot so many times the last couple of days that I think the paint counter people suspect that I have some kind of obsession with paint chips and am secretly hoarding them at my house.

But I'm learning a few things about decorating:

1. There are jobs that really involve hard work and meaningful contributions to society and then there are people who get paid to name paint colors.

I mean, not to downplay another person's skills, because really, there are some names that are almost poetic and you just want that color to work.

And then there are names like Elephant Skin (although, when it went on the wall, I personally saw more of a resemblance to elephant poop).

I sometimes wonder what type of creative exercises a person needs to do when they squint at the 517th shade of beige for the week and say, "To me that just says Cotswald Breeches."

See, these are the things I stand there thinking about while you pick your color, paint your walls and move on with life.

2. When redecorating, it is not a good idea to look through magazines for ideas and collect pictures you like.

Oh, I know the real decorators all suggest this, but this is what happens: You start with a simple goal like oh say, repainting your kitchen, and once you start perusing decorator magazines you suddenly become aware of all of the other 723 things that would be nice to do to your house.

And then you find yourself, not only looking at paint, but also fabric and furniture and faucets and doorknobs, etc. etc. and suggesting all sorts of woodworking and masonry projects to your husband who is slightly less than thrilled and dragging your kids to all these stores while they say things like, "But aren't we supposed to be content with what we have?"

Must they listen to everything I say?

3. Those little $3 samples of paint you can put on your wall from Home Depot may not be as helpful as they seem.

And maybe they are helpful for normal people, but for those of us who have trouble with decisions, they can cause problems. Because now, instead of just having to look at cutesy stencils on my wall, I now have to look at cutesy stencils and a whole bunch of random splotches of crazy colors, including but not limited to elephant poop.



4. I have a serious procrastination problem.

As evidenced by the fact that I am sitting at the computer writing silly blogs and inventing other things to do while my kitchen is an eyesore. I realize this doesn't help things at all.

Unless of course a professional decorator and/or painter stumbles upon my blog and decides to come to my house and donate his or her services (no serial killers, please).

5. It is after all, just a house.

Okay, maybe a little perspective is helpful here. Better Homes and Gardens is not going to come knocking any time soon. While I want my home to look nice and promote a welcoming and peaceful feeling, these are really not earth-shattering decisions I'm making here.

In fact, the more I look at it, I kind of like the color that the kitchen is right now. Those stencils aren't the worst thing in the world and maybe I could live with them a little while longer and put the whole stressful thing off.

I feel better already.

Except now I have elephant poop on my walls.